I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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