looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
