Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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