so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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