my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
