Umm I'm too high to move.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
