My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize