is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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