who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So vagazzling was a success
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
