No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
