whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
