i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
