Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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