his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is the high leading the old right now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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