I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
