there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
