Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
