is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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