she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
