I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
