Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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