Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
