id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
