That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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