I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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