would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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