Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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