Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
