Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
