Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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