I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
