Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
