I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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