Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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