did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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