Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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