she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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