I don't think brook has ever known best
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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