I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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