I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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