maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
