i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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