I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
