her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
