You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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