bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
