What did we do last night that was yellow?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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