i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
