i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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