Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
