We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
