K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
