i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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