I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
