some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
