she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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