I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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