That's when you crack a 10am beer
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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