You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
