I CAN MOONWALK!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
