I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i think im in europe. pls send help
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize