you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
