That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
